Mantras, meditation, visualization, confidence, mind over matter, the power of your subconscious mind...
2010 is a watershed year for me. This is the year that I learned how to create my own success. It began with my mom suggesting I read a book of hers. She told me that it hadn't been completely successful for her, but she would return to it frequently and found that when she did, things began to improve once again. Having nothing to lose and everything to gain, I picked it up...and it began to transform my life.
Everything in it finally made sense. My spirit was ready to accept what the book had to offer as truth. I was ready to begin to change my life. I just had to put in the hard work in order to get there.
It began with weight loss. For over half of my life, I have tried to lose weight. I have never focussed on it before, but always wished I could do it. Of course, there were always more excuses than reasons to do it, which is always the path to failure. This spring, though, I was ready for it.
There was initial resistance. I remember the week my sisters began WeightWatchers. I thought, meh, that might work for them, but I'm a vegan, it will conflict with my diet. And then I though, ah, geez, it costs money to join too, well, I can't afford that. My success in joining the program I blame on my sister whose idea it was all along.
They never even asked me to join them initially, but we were all still living together, so I was coming to understand that our entire diet was about to change. Then, after their first weigh in, my middle sister showed me the vegetarian options they had in the first book, and how easy it was to figure out the point system for a vegan diet as well. Man, without cheese, I thought, it will be easy to stick to my daily points level.
Then, they talked about the activity points. Well, with biking to and from work every day, I was bound to get all of my extra points for the week. This might work... or, well, I had everything to gain and only weight to lose.
And I began to - immediately. I lost eight pounds in the first week. Four in the next two weeks, and then I began to slow down to a mere two pounds every week. The initial success spurred me on. It began to show in my face first, and then my clothes became baggier and baggier. I began to believe in myself. I knew this was how I was going to finally do it. I was finally going to be the "healthy / appropriately weighted" woman I saw myself as in my head.
As spring dawned, I started buying skirts, and running in the river valley that I had moved next to. Summer was time for me to show off my hard work, and I beamed with the self confidence that making such a healthy change in my life brought along with it. I was more and more the person that I saw inside of myself. I was no longer a fat slob, but a blossoming, beautiful young woman ready to take on the world.
Then, disaster struck. I hit a rut, and had numerous personal issues crop up. Family members were sick, and my last grandparent passed away. I lost sight of my goals and the weight loss stopped. This week, I sit perilously close to going past a number on the scale that I SWORE I would never get to again. And, so, my soul has been leading me to the inspiration I need to get through this disaster, learn from it and move on.
Some may scorn the "self help" section, but I've always had a fascination with it. Yes, of course, when I have felt social pressure to joke about it, I have. But, more and more, this fall I have had people encouraging me to return to it. I didn't think I needed it. I was doing well, wasn't it. I was happy. I was making plans for my future. I had the confidence to take on whatever life could deal me.
"Self help" is less about being down on the ground and needing a hand out of rock bottom and more about self improvement. And who doesn't need self improvement? Yes, we are all perfect at any given moment, but what is life we aren't constantly improving that perfection? Or, well, that's the perfectionist in me talking ;-) No, that's actually not right. We aren't perfect. And maybe we won't be. But that's just a problem with the word "perfect." We are exactly as we are meant to be, but the future will be even better. Not to say that the past had anything wrong with it. but, well, now I'm just running in circles... The only thing that is constant is change, and isn't best if that change is something we want to happen to us?
This is the year I learn how to not run in circles. This is the year that I learn that the thoughts I put out into the universe are the actions that I will have come back to me. This is the year that I convince my subconscious that I may not be perfect, but I'm still worthy of the potential all those teachers told me I had. I still have that potential, but....
Last winter, I came across this ad from Nike that inspired me. I ripped it out of the magazine and posted it to my bedroom wall. I'm not sure where it is right now, but its message was ingrained in my head:
If all I am is potential, I'm not working hard enough am I?
So, my mantra will become that...but in a positive matter.
I am more than potentail. I work hard to fill that potential.
So, with less than two months left, I am ready to change my life this year. Yes, there have been challenges, but those were just lessons I needed to go through before I realized my strength. I am strong. I am strength. I am more powerful than I ever imagined. And I will change the world. :-D
And last week I had a sign from beyond that told me my last grandparent was there, making sure I took the right path. Death is much easier to face when you know that your time with that person doesn't end when they leave. They're always with you after their physical body no longer holds them away from you. It's an amazing thing to realize, and I'm glad I've met the right people who have helped me come to that realization.
If interested, here are some books to read:
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind ~ Joseph Murphy
The Secret ~ Rhonda Byrne
You Can Heal Your Life ~ Louise Hay