Saturday, 5 February 2011

Pain, Love, and Crazy Girl Episodes

“Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases.”

Okay, alright, if one Crazy Girl episode gives me this much insight and inspiration, I'm okay with them happening occasionally. Just maybe, though, could they possibly stop happening when I really don't have time to rock back and forth in the shower, sobbing over love's labour lost?

~ note to myself, January 16, 2011, after writing madly through the pain for an hour...

There is value in that pain. It has sparked a lot of inspiration for me to write. And, this is okay. But, there is so much pain in the world outside of my own self and my pain that I wish I was writing about instead.

The pain has been extinguished. I sit, emotionless in reaction to any more news. I don't look for any more news. My eyes are on other people, including me - my own self. And there is less pain there. I may be a bit guarded, but that's ok for now. I have lived in a bubble before. I became who I am today because of that bubble. This bubble is a bit more fluid...but it will protect me just as much, I hope...

If not, though, what's wrong with that? It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, right?

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