Monday, 13 December 2010

2010 - Watershed Year

Mantras, meditation, visualization, confidence, mind over matter, the power of your subconscious mind...

2010 is a watershed year for me. This is the year that I learned how to create my own success. It began with my mom suggesting I read a book of hers. She told me that it hadn't been completely successful for her, but she would return to it frequently and found that when she did, things began to improve once again. Having nothing to lose and everything to gain, I picked it up...and it began to transform my life.

Everything in it finally made sense. My spirit was ready to accept what the book had to offer as truth. I was ready to begin to change my life. I just had to put in the hard work in order to get there.

It began with weight loss. For over half of my life, I have tried to lose weight. I have never focussed on it before, but always wished I could do it. Of course, there were always more excuses than reasons to do it, which is always the path to failure. This spring, though, I was ready for it. And my journey downwards (weight-wise) began. My confidence began to grow as a result, and I have a pretty solid appreciation for the body I have now, as much as it may change for the rest of my life.

The next step was living on my own. It happened almost accidentally, but it's been a plan for the last three years. I will never regret the nearly two years before getting my first "apartment of my own," when I was living with my sisters. It was an opportunity that all three of us embraced as such. How many people get to call their siblings "roommates" after the age of 18? Or, even after each have lived on their own. I always thought of it as the perfect moment in all three of our lives to do so, and with one of my sisters getting married next year, I am that much more grateful for the hours, days, weeks, months and year and a half that we spent together. And that's even after all the fighting, meddling, jealousy, misunderstandings and weeks of not talking to one another. If given an option to repeat life, I would do it all over again. This year, I learned to love my family - not because I had to, but because they're pretty awesome people.

It seems like in an instant I became a professional, but I know there was much more time invested in that change this year. And, career-wise, I feel like I'm starting at the bottom - again - right now. I've learned to listen to the universe as far as that goes, though. The universe has led me to make some pretty shocking choices this year - moving up in a company I wanted out of, moving across town to fulfill that position, lying to myself about wanting to stay with the company to the extent that I forgot exactly the reason why I was put on this planet, waking up to that realization and quitting - almost abruptly - but at just the right time, going back to a company that I had been so angry with when I left, and making money on my own (which is the best thing I have ever done!) - and for that, I am eternally grateful to the universe.

I don't know what I'll be doing next year. Heck, I don't even know for sure what I'll be doing next week. And part of that REALLY terrifies me, but the other part makes me so excited. The best things in my life have been completely unplanned. The most fulfilling things in my life, have taken focus, determination, and hard work - and I'm finally ready to do that. So, finances will come, health will come, but my happiness will always be around...

Now, here I sit, typing away at a computer that I bought over three years ago to do something that I knew I would do for a living since I was eleven - write - but that I have never made enough time for until now. Sometimes what comes out is terrible; other times it is brilliant. The important thing is that I AM WRITING! And, above everything else positive that has happened this year, that is what I am most proud of!

No comments: