Monday, 25 October 2010


The mornings are the worst. And then there are the evenings...

It's ok. I'll be fine. It's been years since I've had a suicidal thought, so I know it's not that serious. It's just an emotion. And I'm human. I have emotions. They aren't all positive.

And I'm still functioning. If anything, I'm functioning even more. I'm more focussed. I'm writing more. I need to express this emotion. I need to express my thoughts. I need to get it out.

It will pass. I know it will. It might last a week or two, but it will pass. I'll pretend to be happy. For the people watching, I'll pretend that everything is fine. 'Cause it's easier than talking about it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to be reminded about it.

Distract me.

That's all I need.

Just distract me, please!


Jessica said...

The worst times for me when I have too much time on my hands is the mornings, because I feel overwhelmed by the need to accomplish something worthwhile in the day while everyone is out making money to live on. Or when I open my eyes in the morning because as much as I would love to waste the day after laying and moaning in bed, there is so much out there to do and it can't all be discovered staying in bed.

This time shall pass. I think our brains need to go through this kind of phrase in every stage of our life as a test of where our sights are set and making sure that we stay on course.

Good Luck!

Joda said...

Jessica, you are so right!

I've made all of the right steps this year - even the scariest steps were the right ones! And I see my light. I'm focussing on it and I know I will reach it, one way or another...