Friday, 31 December 2010

Top Five Moments of 2010

At the conclusion of every year, I run through every day, every moment and chose at least five that I am most satisfied with. The only thing different about this year is that I am sharing the top five on my blog:

5) Learning To Run

I'm nowhere near being an expert at this new hobby of mine, but I've fallen in love with it. I still can't run for longer than three minutes at a time, but I'm getting better at sticking with it!

4) Quitting My Job

Every time I leave a job, I feel a little bad about it. I always pour my heart into the company, and - as much as I may vent about the boss, the company, etc. - I always live and breathe for whoever I am working for. Also, I always have another job, working for another company lined up before I leave. Alas, this time was different! And now I get to live and breathe for myself - and remind myself every day that I can do it on my own!

3) My First "Third Sister" Having a Baby Girl

With two older sisters, you would think I had enough "sister" to go around. Fortunately, there is always room for a "third" sister, and my cousin was the first one in my life to claim that title. I'm excited for all of my cousins when they have babies, but this is the first baby in that generation on that side of the family, which is special, especially considering that that Grandmother passed away this summer. The baby is adorable, the couple is happy and healthy, and none of us could be more elated!

2) My Sister Getting Engaged

Some sisters play "Wedding" together when they're young; we played "Apartments." Nonetheless, I couldn't be happier for my sister and her fiance. I always wanted a younger brother.... but I'm elated to be getting my older brother-in-law!

1) Getting My Own Apartment

I've lived alone before, but not as permanently as this arrangement. I love it! It is the perfect location - close to the university, the breeding ground of new ideas; a two-minute walk to the lrt, the fastest section of public transportation in Edmonton; and two blocks from the River Valley, where I began running this spring. :-D Life is GOOD!

Thursday, 30 December 2010

amphigory

a nonsense verse or composition

The children delighted in the book's amphigory and in the bright, colorful illustrations that accompanied the foolish rhymes.

Did You Know?

The author of the 18th-century French play l'Amphigouri may have coined this term from the Greek words amphi, meaning "around," and agoria, which means "speech," perhaps modeling his coinage on the word "allegory." One common form of amphigory uses letter combinations and sentence structures that don't normally occur in the language; that's the type Lewis Carroll used in "Jabberwocky," a poem whose title has since become another general term for meaningless speech or writing.

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Wednesday, 29 December 2010

beatific

having a blissful appearance

A beatific smile spread across Grandmother's face as she reminisced about her wedding day.

Did You Know?

"Beatific," from Latin beatificus ("making happy"), first occurred in English in the phrase "beatific vision," a theological allusion to the direct sight of God enjoyed by the blessed in heaven. Although "beatific" originally meant "conferring happiness," the word now more frequently means "expressing happiness" and a blissfully joyful look or appearance may be called "beatific."

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Defining The Quarter Life Crisis

I've been working on this one for a little bit, so I apologize in the delay...

I was at a party the other night, and I was asked what I do now that I've left the bank. After answering that question a few times prior to the party, I jumped right in with the fact that I am blogging. The music blog is the easiest one to understand, but I couldn't leave out this one. This is more of your traditional blog - sub-regular rants on life, getting older, and the difficulties of merely being alive and having emotions - yet it is the one that I talk the least about. So, standing in front of a dozen or so people, I began my explanation...

This blog was actually the beginning of it all. Well, no, that's not entirely correct. The first one was supposed to be about my travels in England, but that didn't pan out. So, then, when I got back I started this one. Remember, two years ago when I faced the possibility of being 100% unemployed for like six weeks? That I would like to mark as the beginning of the crisis. (...although truthfully, I wasn't all too rational in my decision to move to England, either,... I guess I'll just leave it up to future analysts of my autobiography...)

After running through a quick list of what I am doing as a writer (and the side jobs, as well), the party broke down into smaller groups. This is always ideal. I hate parties where everybody tries to talk to one another and you just sit around in a big circle pretending to all care about the same subject matter. I never connect well with a large group of strangers, but I hit it off BIG TIME one-on-one with new friends. (My friend would later thank me for bridging the gap between her different groups of friends, which I took as a huge compliment. I love meeting new people, so I love going to parties where I have the opportunity to do exactly as I did there. It was nice that my skill was appreciated. AND, if you're ever throwing a mixer with a wide array of people, you know who to call!)

As several conversations erupted, I found myself at the corner of the buffet table, talking to a scientist. He seemed interested in my blogs, and we began talking about this one. I went through a brief history of it, and he seemed confused. "What do you mean by 'Quarter Life Crisis'?"

"Well," I began. "You know how people, when they're in their late forties, early fifties and they suddenly change careers or start dating somebody half their age?"

His confusion did not seem to be lessening, so I continued.

"Well, I'm too young to be doing that!" (I paused for a laugh, but there was none...) "...but, well, I think there is this common feeling among people of our generation, you know, that are in their twenties and faced with similar concerns about their life. They start asking themselves, 'is this REALLY what I want to do for the next forty or fifty years?'; 'will I be happy with this decision five years from now?'; or sometimes even, 'why haven't I accomplished that yet?!?' These are all valid concerns, and, I've found that writing about it makes me feel better. And my readers, when they comment, are going through the same things."

He still looked confused, so I paused to let it sink in.

"What does 'Quarter' mean?"

My new friend's first language was not English, and, like always, I had answered the question of my own agenda rather than the real question. (Does anybody see Being a Better Listener on my New Year's Resolution list?)

My explanation got me thinking, and, as it turns out, when I dwell on a question, it turns up in a lot of my conversations. Later that week, I was talking to a customer at work and discovered that he had been going through a similar situation for the last few years. Unlike myself (who ran kicking and screaming from the institution of higher learning after they handed me a piece of paper covered in calligraphy), this new friend had hid from his fears through school and travel. I was a bit jealous... The real world is actually a terrible place to hide from one's uncertainty about the future. I felt better knowing that he was going to graduate this spring without any better understanding of what he should be doing with his life than what I have. And he's in the Scared Stage. I'd never want to go back to the Scared Stage!

The problem, I think, is that we have so many decisions in front of us. Normally, I discuss this with my fellow females since we have the feminism of the 80s to thank for our decision-making problems. Sure, women could do whatever they wanted to before the 80s, but now there's even more pressure for us to choose not only whatever it is that men did before us, but to be HAPPY with our choice. And it's not even about choosing not to have babies or to have babies (trust me, with this war on right now, I'm definitely feeling the embracing of the latter over the former!). We can even choose to have babies and have partners who stay home to raise them. In fact, it's almost like our choices SHOULD be more original. The last few generations have sent so many shockwaves through the history books that there is this tiny little bit of pressure resting on the shoulders of all womankind to do something even greater with our lives. We all should aspire to be the next Oprah...

I apologise for the helter skelter of that rant. I've been holding in it for a few days, now. You see, over the holidays, I brought up Rosie the Rivetter, and how she has an action figure created after her. I love it. I love Rosie the Rivetter! When I brought her up, though, there was a conversation about how much the campaign she represented helped get women into the work force. I won't deny that the campaigns to get women to work during the war were impressive, and widespread enough to convince even the most conservative individuals in the far corners of this country to consider allowing women to do the hard labour of the men they had sent off to fight without being too concerned about that woman's children, or her 'delicate nature.'

It wasn't the beginning of feminism, though, nor was it the end. The post-war emphasis on family and motherhood certainly sent a vast majority of those women packing from the factories back to their pantries. The celebration of suburbia only continued that trend, making motherhood once again an issue of class moreso than a natural power to be proud of. (If you could afford to have children and not have the wife work as well, you were of the middle class or above.) Then came the pill, and more and more women could postpone their baby-having days to build a career. Some "spinsters" (women who never marry) were even truly successful in the careers that came their way due to the civil rights movements of the 60s.

Then, well, we can't forget the Sexual Revolution; if only because that makes us believe that Britney Spears is being really powerful when she pouts just a little bit and 'allows' her lover to physically abuse her. (If you don't understand, just ask, and I'll break it down for you.) After the sexually-charged 70's, though, we are faced with the 80's, where Dolly Pardon bemoans working a full-time job, Cyndi Lauper claims "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," and, okay, maybe we should blame Madonna - just a little bit - for what we've allowed Britney Spears to get away with...

Except that, Madonna had class. Dolly Pardon had pride. And Cyndi Lauper was filthy rich! They may not have been pressuring women to get into the workforce, but they didn't have to. Women coming of age at this time had known their entire lives that they could do ANYTHING they wanted to when they grew up. And they did! Yeah, yeah, I know there's still a glass ceiling, and there's still social taboos that need to be kicked out of the office buildings women are now dominating,... but that leaves us with a lot to live up to!

Now do you understand why I had to give up the feminist cause for something that needed more work? I'm a bit terrified of what my foremothers expect from me...

Don't worry, I know it's difficult for men, too. All those girls who were told they could do anything grew up alongside those boys that weren't told anything about the future. Hmmmm....yeah, I guess it could be worse. I could have had that plan that had been given to my gender for the last few generations ripped from my hands by some scary spinsters, had it split in half and only be given back the top part of it. If I thought reaching that glass ceiling was going to be tough, imagine what life would be like if that's where I was meant to start!

Don't worry, I explained what a 'quarter' was to my new friend...

It Gets Better (Part Two)

The original campaign, and my previous point about this phrase was that life only improves as we get older. As we age, we become wiser, we appreciate things more, and life is rarely as difficult as high school. Well, life is generally more difficult than high school, but people and our emotions tend to become more manageable...

I had a bigger point to make, though, and I've waited almost a week to finish making it.

I have a friend who is faced with a difficult romantic decision. For the entirety of our relationship, she has wanted to fall in love. She has had numerous suitors, and a handful of crushes, but nothing as serious as the situation she finds herself in now. At this moment, she is dating two different men, and is concerned about which one, if either, to continue dating. I've heard the pros and cons of both, and privately given her my opinion; and I've also given her the advice of "it gets better"...

Romantic "It Gets Better"

On average, we all (not just women) have this ideal in our minds of who are perfect match is. As we meet a potential new mate, we weigh them against the list we have in our mind of what it is we are looking for. For some people, the suitor should have an idea of where they're going in life, perhaps be able to drive, or make x amount or more every year. Other times, it is more about what the person does not have: no children, no pets, no body fat, no debt, etc. And, on average, we all need to find the other person attractive: dashing eyes, cute smile, firm butt, toned arms, etc. The criteria changes for every person, luckily, and so it should work out that eventually, one day you will find somebody that has you described on their list and they will fit the person you have on your list, too.

This is where I think online dating sites may have ruined the dating game forever, or at least for some people. You log onto the site, you put in your list and you generally find five or six people who fit eighty percent of what you're looking for. Before even meeting them, they're discarded, though, because that twenty percent is the most important part. Now, don't get me wrong, I know many people who have found the love of their life on dating sites, and I think it's nice to have another way of meeting people. And, I shouldn't blame online dating sites entirely. I think, even without them, we would have these impossible lists for our suitors to match. Listing off everything you're looking for and not finding it is extremely disappointing.

I've discarded my list. Friends and family describe my ideal mate to me, and that's fine. As for me, right now, I'm preferring to drift along, without a list to compare any potential suitors to. My theory is that when it's right, it'll be right and he won't have to meet all the requirements that I created before I met him. Who I am changes over time, and that goes along with what I like as well...and if who I am only improves, what I like will only get better, too.

Consoling my last broken heart, a dear friend used the "It Gets Better" line to me. "The next one will be even better...and if he isn't, than it's not worth sticking with." I liked that thought. If, in your new relationship, you're still thinking about the old one, then the new person is probably not any better, and you should move on.

Taking this concept, I gave advice to me friend faced with this certain dilemna. Both of her suitors possess the same number of positive qualities on her list, but neither of them meet all of them. So, I told her to jump in, have fun, and be willing to get hurt. At some point, she'll know which one to chose, and he might break her heart. That's ok, though, because the next suitor will be even better. It only gets better...

Plus, we're only in our twenties. There is only a certain amount of years where it is acceptable to date for fun. We might find the love of our life right away, but it is WAY too early to be stressing about meeting the person we will spend the rest of our life with at this point. Right now, we should be kissing a few frogs; it will make the prince that much better ;-)

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

ramshackle

1:appearing ready to collapse: rickety 2:carelessly or loosely constructed

The properties were separated by a ramshackle wooden fence that was just barely held together with chicken wire.

Did You Know?

Despite its appearance, "ramshackle" has nothing to do with rams or shackles. It's an alteration of "ramshackled," an early form of "ransack," which derived from Old Norse words meaning "house" and "seek" and meant "to search through or plunder." A home that has been ransacked has had its contents thrown into disarray, and that image may be what caused us to start using "ramshackle" in the first half of the 19th century to describe something poorly constructed or in a state of near collapse. These days, "ramshackle" can also be used figuratively, as in "He could only devise a ramshackle excuse for his absence."

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Monday, 27 December 2010

handsel

1:a gift made as a token of good wishes or luck 2:a first installment: earnest money

At the beginning of the year, some employees will receive handsome monetary handsels.

Did You Know?

According to an old custom in the British Isles, the first Monday of the new year is Handsel Monday, a day to give a small gift or good-luck charm to children or to those who have served you well. As long ago as the year 1200, English-speakers were using the ancestor of "handsel" for any good-luck charm, especially one given at the start of some new situation or condition. By the 1500s, traders were using "handsel" for the first cash they earned in the morning - to them, an omen of good things to follow. Nowadays, it can also be applied to the first use or experience of something, especially when such a use gives a taste of things to come.

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